Change

Memory is a strange thing.  As much as it is an abstract, philosophical concept, it is also in some ways an ethereal object that we can feel, touch, and experience. They are locked away in our minds, and many times, we also wear them on our sleeves and carry them in our pockets, or put them on our shelves, or hang them on our walls. We attach our memories to real, physical objects because that's how they feel to us. Somehow our memories aren't nothingness inside our mind, they are real and true and exist.

After being on vacation for a week, I came into work and emptied my pockets. A €2 coin with a harp embossed on the back came out with my keys. Although the day was no different than any other morning at work, I was instantly transported to where I had been only a day prior. But along with that feeling came a feeling of longing. A feeling of remembrance. I could hear the music and see the people and feel the cool air. I was ready to be home, but I was remembering how wonderful it had been. Even before the trip was over, I was ready to come home, to kiss my daughter, to sleep in my own bed.

But some things I'm not ready to release into the ether quite yet. I'm not ready for it to happen. Time won't wait, things change. People come and go. They move from reality, into a  vapor where you remember moments when you see a picture or pass a place. It hurts when it happens, it hurts more when you can see it coming. But there is a anxious pain when you have to do it by choice. People affect each other in different ways, and in ways that aren't easily visible.

Relationships that may seem insignificant may have a lasting impact, they become the coin in your pocket. To others, it's just a bit of leftover change, we accumulate so much of it during our lives. But to ourselves, it's so much more.

Jon, thanks for being a friend.

Genesis

In the beginning, In the beginning was the Word, God

created the heavens and the earth.

And the earth was waste and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep:

and the Word was with God, and the Word was God

and the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

He was in the beginning with God

And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world

And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome

And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him;

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory,

glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth

And the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.

And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.

 

 

 

 

 

Hidden Value

There’s something wonderful about teaching. I don’t mean teaching in the professional sense, I mean teaching in the personal sense. When you are forced to explain something to someone, to help them understand, that can be an amazing thing, if you let it.

Sometimes you’re the expert, and sometimes everyone else nominates you as the ‘expert’. You’re forced to explain something to people that, at least it seems, know more about the subject than you do. But you stand, and you start your nervous ‘instruction’

More and more I am taken with the word formation as a substitute for education. Because its not about conveyance of facts, its about forming ideas and people. And more often than not, the person that is formed the most is the one who is tasked with forming others. That’s what makes teaching so special to me. It’s that preparation, the explanation of something that I supposedly know already that teaches me more than anything has before. The person that learns the most is the one behind the podium.

I think its that preparation, the self-examination that happens. When you are trying to communicate an idea, you ask yourself, “Do I really understand this well enough?” Its that freedom of exploration and self discovery that makes teaching/forming wonderful and exciting.

 

Misconceptions about Christian Education

Based on lectures given by

Dr. Gary Parrett, MDiv, EdD, Professor at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary

 

 

I.  Christian Education is primarily the "church's" job.

 We rely on the ‘church’ to educate us and our children, and we forget that we are the church, and it is our job to instruct (katecheo).

II.  Christian Education equals Sunday School.

 When you ask about Christian Education, you usually get directed to the Sunday School program. Sunday school is a tool used in education, but its not the only one.

III.  Christian Education is exclusively for children.

 For some reason, we think everything about our lives requires constant instruction, except out Christianity. We think that providing a K-8 education program is discipleship, and those that become Christians as adults are somehow exempt from the need for any ‘formal’ education.

IV.  Christian Education is a secondary task.

 In the Great Commission we are called to spread the Good News of Christ, and there are two methods given, with equal importance. Baptizing, which is equated with evangelizing and repentance, and teaching the commands of Jesus.

V.  Anybody can do Christian Education.

 In no other ministry is it accepted that anyone, even those lacking in desire, training, aptitude, skill, or gift can perform the task of ministry.

VI.  Christian Education is only the pastor's work.

 Jesus’ command was not for pastor’s to do the work of the church, it is every Christian’s duty to both evangelize and teach.

VII.  Christian Education is not the pastor's job.

 The lay-movement of the modern Sunday school is a wonderful thing, but those that are involved in ‘professional’ ministry shouldn’t ignore Christian Education ministry. They are usually the most well trained members of the local church, shouldn’t they be involved in educating their sheep?

VIII.  Christian Education is simply about passing on knowledge.

 It is an impossible task to teach the entirety of the bible, and even if it were, it’s not the knowledge that is the goal. The goal is the lead people to Christ-likeness.

IX.  Instant Christianity

 

I heard a story about a new pastor at a church who put together a Discipleship course for the church, and announced it during the worship service. After the service ended, he was approached by a member of the church, who told the pastor they didn’t need a Discipleship class, since they had done that already. As if a 6 week class had made everyone a disciple, and they would never need instruction again.

 

Popsicles

It's funny how things affect you in ways you never expected. You convince yourself you feel a certain way, and you are absolutely certain that's what you believe. Then that moment comes, and somehow, you don't feel that way anymore. It reminds me of being a kid again.
You are sure you want the red popsicle. You have never been so sure of anything in your life, it has to be red. You don't even know what flavor red is, but that's what you want. You say it over and over again. Red, red, red, red, gimme the red one. Your mom grabs a popsicle. You see the color through the translucent plastic wrapper. Its red! Your heart jumps. She unwraps it and hands it to you. You taste the icy sweetness.
Oh no! I didn't want red! It was blue I wanted all along! You are forced to finish your red one, all the while dreaming of blue.
What is it about our nature that makes us this way? We make decisions about ourselves before we even know anything about what we truly want, or what we truly are, or what we truly need. We are continually impulsive, selfish and arrogant. I think it's because we continually lie to ourselves, because we want to be happy so bad that we can't cope any other way. We lie and say that we are happy, we lie and say we are caring, altruistic, loving, even-tempered people. Then when we do the opposite, we lie again and say that it was a one-time thing. We refuse to acknowledge our true selves because we know that on the inside we are filthy.
Guess what? I am filthy inside too. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I hate. I judge. I am lazy. I am greedy. I lust. I get angry. I do everything that I don't want to do, and I don't do everything I should do. But what I don't want to do is lie to myself and say that's ok. I need to stop and think, and say that I am nothing, and Christ is everything.

Commands

I've never seen love described as anything other than an emotion. That's how it's always portrayed, at least. It's something that comes upon you, that's out of your direct control. It's said it's like a narcotic, or even a being unto itself. You are under its influence, and the rest of you is just along for the ride.

This is my command: Love each other.
John 15:17

How then, can love be commanded? Moreover, how can you be commanding of any of your emotions?

Be cheerful no matter what.
1Th 5:16

Or.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.
James 1:19

I'm not sure I have an answer for this. In fact I know I don't. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary. (Romans 7:15-16)

Persistence

I envy the maintenance man. Not because of what he does. Not because of his work hours. Not because of his pay. And not even because of his dashing looks. I envy him because he has a job that while being one of the most thankless jobs in the company, without him no one else could function.

He makes sure the furnace is running before winter comes. He changes the light bulbs so I have light to work. He mows the grass where I sit and eat when it’s nice outside. He scrubs the graffiti off the back wall. He even changes those blue urinal cakes. Everything he does, he does quietly in the background, but it’s all completely essential.

Sometimes I feel the opposite. I am constantly scrutinized, monitored, and evaluated. I always have something else that needs done, and sometimes it all feels meaningless. I don’t directly do anything that is any benefit to anyone. Its hard to feel accomplished when you feel this way.

My only consolation is the work done for God isn’t done in vain, but that is starting to feel empty in a different way. I feel like I’m on the right road, but right now that road is one of those you always see in movies. The ones that are perfectly straight, cut between two corn fields in nowhere, Iowa. Maybe an abandoned farmhouse in the distance. You don’t even know where the road goes, and there is no one but you around. So you keep walking.

 

 

Obsession

                Maybe it's because I'm getting physically older. Maybe it's because I'm maturing in my faith. Maybe it’s because of something I've heard, or read, or seen. Maybe it's none of those.

                Either way, I'm obsessing less and less about others. I've stopped being concerned with the minor things that don’t matter, that don’t affect me in the least.

                What I have been obsessing about is myself. Because that’s what's important. I'm not being conceited or anything. We focus too much on the flaws of others, the failings of others, how they’ve hurt us. The things they do, the things they don’t do. The things they believe, the things they don’t believe. What we don’t do is turn those questions around on ourselves. I've been asking myself this lately.

What have I been doing?

What haven't I been doing?

How have I failed?

How have I succeeded?

What do I believe?

What don't I believe?

 

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

Matthew 7:3

 

Two Lists

What Doesn't Matter!

What I eat

What I drink

My clothing

What I look like

My hairstyle

How straight my teeth are

My weight

The music style I  prefer

What language I speak

If I have a funny accent

The people around me

The color of my skin

My gender

What my neighbor is doing

What Congress is doing

My political beliefs

The local news

The national news

The world news

Where I live

My nationality

What church I go to

My job (or lack of)

How fast I can type

My vocabulary

My sports ability

My public speaking skill

My age

My parents

My spouse

My child(ren)

My perceived maturity

Having a college degree

Having multiple college degrees

Not having a high school diploma

What I have done in the past

What other people think of me

Anyone else.

 

What Does Matter!

That I love the Lord my God; with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.

That I love my neighbor as myself.

That I take up my cross, and follow Him.

 

 

 

 

Seussical Wisdom

The day before today, One day, making tracks
In the prairie of Prax,
Came a North-Going Zax
And a South-Going Zax.
And it happened that both of them came to a place
Where they bumped. There they stood.
Foot to foot. Face to face.

“Look here, now!” the North-Going Zax said, “I say!
You are blocking my path. You are right in my way.
I’m a North-Going Zax and I always go north.
Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!”

“Who’s in whose way?” snapped the South-Going Zax.
“I always go south, making south-going tracks.
So you’re in MY way! And I ask you to move
And let me go south in my south-going groove.”

Then the North-Going Zax puffed his chest up with pride.
“I never,” he said, “take a step to one side.
And I’ll prove to you that I won’t change my ways
If I have to keep standing here fifty-nine days!”

“And I’ll prove to YOU,” yelled the South-Going Zax,
“That I can stand here in the prairie of Prax
For fifty-nine years! For I live by a rule
That I learned as a boy back in South-Going School.

Never budge! That’s my rule. Never budge in the least!
Not an inch to the west! Not an inch to the east!
I’ll stay here, not budging! I can and I will
If it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!”

Well…
Of course the world didn’t stand still. The world grew.
In a couple of years, the new highway came through
And they built it right over those two stubborn Zax
And left them there, standing un-budged in their tracks.

 

 

The Zax

Dr.  Seuss

 

 

 They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them,

but they stiffened their neck and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt.

But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them. 

~ Nehemiah 9:17 ESV

 

Adaptation

It's amazing how quickly we get used to something.

It’s even more amazing how quickly children adapt.

 

My wife left early Saturday morning, before anyone else was awake. When my daughter woke up that morning, she had daddy instead. We kept to the usual routine, but she knew something was wrong. She wandered the house, looking for momma. It was cute, and slightly sad, because I knew how confused she must have been. You can't really explain things to a one-year old.

The rest of Saturday went…OK. By Sunday, she was used to just having Daddy. There was a bit of drama in the nursery at church, but I expected that. Monday was a perfectly normal day.

I was burnt out, she was fine. She did a much better job than I did.

Why? I had expectations, I had wants.

My daughter didn't. She knew that everything would be alright, and she just had to get used to it. She didn't expect anything, she didn’t want any more than she needed.

                Sometimes you hear [people] say, “Ah, I’m going through burnout.” Burnout, what are you       talking about? You don’t get burned out by doing work. Plumbers don’t have burn out. Ditch            diggers don’t have burnout. People who work hard don’t have burn out. Burn out means you have unrealistic expectations that aren’t being met. You think you deserve more than you get. That’s because you think you deserve something and you deserve nothing

                ….Well if we got treated the way we should be treated we'd be sent to hell, wouldn't we? It's essential to contentment to have a sweet reasonableness that doesn't demand anything, doesn't expect anything, and, therefore, anything that comes is received with surprise.

                                -John MacArthur

 

 

 

Choices

I take a seat inside my miniature plastic fort. I remember the folder 'forts' we used to make in elementary school when we took tests.

I grab the paper. It's heavy, almost like cardstock, but not quite. Its also legal size, which I hate. That’s just too big, its awkward and always gets in the way.

I quickly scan the paper. Making sure I understand it.

I've made my choice, but I hesitate, as if that extra 5 seconds might offer some sort of epiphany. It didn’t.

I blacken the oval. I stand, and feed my paper into a machine that thanks me and tells my its been accepted. Somehow I don’t quite trust it.

 

 

Sometimes we are forced to make deliberate choices. Most of the time we make choices without realizing we have made them. But that doesn’t mean we haven't chose. We like to think we are able to choose everything, and nothing.

We want to mark all the ovals with a shade of grey. If I had done that, the machine would have rejected my ballot, and those nice lady's would have explained to me how it all worked, and I would be allowed to try again. "This time, choose only one", they would have said.

You can't choose Jesus and anything else.

 

 

 

Suffering (Submission Part Deux)

                The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth               comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:16-18 ESV

 

Suffering is the ultimate submission.

If we are in Christ, and Christ is in us, then we will suffer with Him.

Usually, this is assumed to mean some sort of religious persecution. Often times it is. In 20th century United States, it is not. I repeat, it is not. I do not suffer persecution daily for being a Christian. At most, someone may think less of me, but I really don’t think that counts. Does it?

What I have realized this to mean, fairly recently, is that we are to do this. Take suffering upon ourselves, as Christ did for us. Voluntarily. To daily choose suffering instead of comfort, in to suffer along with our Christ.

Its not easy, to choose suffering. It goes against everything. Submit yourselves to everything, and suffer with Him.

 

                Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. - James 1:2-4 MSG

               

 

 

Submission

                He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.

                Isaiah 53:7

 

I don’t have a perfect marriage, because it's made up of two imperfect people. It works, because we both make every attempt to be humble before each other (and God). We submit to one another.

                But wait, I don’t see anything in the Bible that says a man should submit to a woman, that’s preposterous! Inconceivable! What about Genesis 3; "and he shall rule over you"? The man is the lord of the house, and all that.

                Well, that is true. It does say that in Genesis 3. But lets look a little deeper into that. What is God saying to Adam and Eve in that section of Genesis? He is cursing them for their disobedience. He curses Eve with pain in childbirth (and child-rearing, in my opinion), and he also curses her with the desire to rule her husband. In turn, he curses the man with the curse that he will rule over the wife. So its not a command, it's not even a suggestion, it’s a curse. We are cursed with sinful desires; Jackie wants to be in charge, and so do I. It's part of our sinful nature.

                How do we deal with it? By being submissive to one another. It works, because we both do it. It works because that is how God intended it to work. But it all seems so backwards, doesn’t it? How can no-one be in charge? No one is in charge, because God is in charge.

                Dietrich Bonhoeffer said (I'm paraphrasing) that we only have one relationship as a Christian, and that is to Christ. All of our other relationships are mediated through Him. I don’t interact with my wife, I interact with my wife though Christ, because I am Christ and He is me.

                It also works because it was designed to work in another way. Back to Genesis, now.

                Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit               for him.” 2:18

Helper here means something more like ally or comrade, not like assistant. But the key word is 'fit for'. The Hebrew here means complimentary. My wife and I are two halves of a whole. I don’t pretend to know it all, and neither does she. We both submit to someone greater than ourselves.

 

Indifference

Politics.

 

Anymore, I care, but I don’t really care. I get fired up about issues that are important to me, like anyone else. I have those that I support, I diligently research my vote. I advocate my position when asked. I think it is important to be informed about politics, because you are involved whether you want to be or not.

 

But overall, I just don’t care anymore.

 

I have more important things to care about.

 

“There are some Brothers who, in preaching, are as timid as mice—but on a political platform they can roar like lions! Had not

they better take to what they like best and give up the work at which they are not at home? For my part, I believe that I am like

Paul when he says that he was “separated unto the Gospel of God.” I am set apart unto the Gospel, cut off from everything else so

that I may preach the glorious Gospel of the blessed God to the perishing sons of men!

—C.H. Spurgeon. 1892, Sermon #2257

Gwen's Lullaby

Every night, in this order, these verses, exactly.

 

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound,
That sav'd a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev'd;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believ'd!

Thro' many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call'd me here below,
Will be forever mine.

When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise,
Than when we first begun

 

O Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder

Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made.

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee;

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

 

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing,
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee;

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

 

When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!

Then I shall bow in humble adoration,

And there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee;

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

 

 

 

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long.

 

Perfect submission, perfect delight!
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long.

 

Perfect submission, all is at rest!
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with his goodness, lost in His love.

This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long.

 

 

Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,

naught be all else to me, save that thou art;

Thou my best thought by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light.

 

Be thou my wisdom, thou my true word,

I ever with thee and thou with me Lord;

Thou my great Father, I thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.

 

Be thou my breastplate, sword for the fight;

Be thou my armor, and be thou my might;

Thou my soul's shelter, thou my high tower:

Raise thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

 

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise:

Thou mine inheritance now and always;

Thou and thou only first in my heart;

High King of Heaven, my treasure thou art.

 

High King of heaven, my victory won,

May I reach heaven's joys, O Bright Heaven's sun!;

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my vision, O Ruler of all.

 

 

 

 

 

The Right Tool

                I don’t like fixing things. Not because I'm incapable, but because it never goes according to plan. The instructions always seem so clear at first. 1) Remove from package. 2) Attach widget. 3) Mount with included hardware. They even have some nice diagrams to go with it.

                Usually, my problem is that I never seem to have the exact tool I need to get the job done. I am slowly filling my tool chest with tools, but I still find myself saying "If I just had that tool, it would make this so much easier". My wife hates this. She thinks I'm just complaining, and wanting to spend money at Sears. She's probably thinking "My dad could do it in half the time with a pocketknife and a stick of gum" I seriously think her dad is actually MacGyver.

                The truth is, the reason 'Dad' is so much more capable than 'Husband', is that Dad has 25 years more tools than I do (Yes, tools are measured in time, not quantity). He also has 25 years more experience using those tools. Tool wisdom, I guess you could call it.

                Its great to have the tool you need, because when you need it, you really need it. It's even more great to know how to use it. You need both to get the job done.

 

 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12 ESV

 

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; 
   all those who practice it have a good understanding. 
   His praise endures forever!

Psalm 111:10 ESV

 

 

 

Failure

                I have tried hard to keep this blog as positive as possible, since I tend to be cynical enough in person. There is far too much complaining on the internet for me, I for one get tired of everyone voicing their complaint, in an attempt to legitimize it, I suppose. With that being said, here comes my rant. It's going to be long, but you'll have to learn to deal. [After finishing: it's only 3 pages, you'll spend longer on Facebook today than it will take to read this]

                Christians have failed, and we have failed most spectacularly. I cannot possibly imagine how we could have gone more wrong. I'm not talking about our theology, our devotion, our passion, our zeal, our evangelism, our eschatology, our ecumenism, our philosophy, our Christology, or our hairstyles. I'm talking about our education. We have simply, (and horrifically) failed at educating a generation (actually at least 3, but I'll get there) of believers. Not sort of, not kind of, not mostly. Completely.

                But, we have Sunday schools for our children, right? They learn all about Noah and the flood. They make cute "Empty Tomb" cookies at Easter, and they even put on a very nice Christmas program. That's education, right? I mean, it's not that complex, the Bible even says it's not difficult to understand; even the youngest children get it. You send your kiddos to Sunday School, and by the time they're 12 or so, you bring them into worship with you, and that it. They are educated. What more do they need to know?

How have we failed?

                I find modern internet culture hilarious, not in the sense that the culture is amusing to me, I mean that the humor resonates with me. I am part of that culture, I understand it. I get the jokes, I know the culture references. One site I visit frequently is reddit.com. It's basically a social site, with about 10 billion subsections. I stick to the news, gaming, and humor sections. There are other sections that are not so innocent (what a surprise, it’s the internet), but they are easy to avoid. They even have a Christianity group. They also have a very active atheism group, one of the largest groups on the site (and the site is one of the largest on the internet). As I type this, the group has 428,439 members. I visit it fairly often, and every time I do, I'm left with an overwhelming sadness. Partially for those half a million people who don’t know a loving God, but mostly for Christians today. Most of the atheists there are college educated; many with graduate degrees. They have had decades of training in philosophy and humanism. They continually mock Christians, who are perceived as ignorant, and sometimes stupid. This is to be somewhat expected, we do not share the same worldview. But many times, what I witness is Christians being unable to defend even simple questions about their faith. The one I see most often is "If God loves everyone, why would he send anyone to hell?". I've seen it dozens of times, these atheists relate their stories about the dumb Christians they meet. They ask these questions because they know the Christian won't know how to answer, and they hope that they will be left questioning their faith. There are thousands more examples.

                We have not prepared ourselves to defend our own beliefs. We are unable to answer the simplest of questions. Why? Because we thought singing "I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N" and putting on a Nativity was education enough. We failed ourselves.

Why have we failed?

                To put it simply, we got comfortable. We got used to having a basic, rudimentary knowledge of Christianity, and the culture around us holding to the modern 'Christian morality'. Life was easy. We left the defense of the faith to those in far off places, and to those who devoted their lives to theology. We invented the word 'Theologian', so we could claim understanding Scripture was only for the academic elite.

                Modern Sunday school was never intended to teach Scripture in the first place. It was a lay-movement in the 18th century, an attempt to educate the poor children in England who, instead of going to school, worked 6 days a week from a very early age. Sunday schools began to develop to use the resources of the church, and the laymen of the church, to give these poor children a basic education. Not a basic Christian education. I'm talking about reading, writing, history, math, etc. It was never intended to bring up strong Christians.

What's the solution?

                There is a movement in the modern church (and I think its great), to try and be as much like the 1st century church as possible. The church of the apostles. I would argue that's not really possible. We don’t have any of the 12 (11, really) apostles left, so we cannot replicate the church that they were a part of. What we can replicate is the 2nd century church. That is the church that the apostles left behind, after they had given all the teaching that they were able. We have that teaching, so we can be that church. So, the question is, how did they see education?

                I'll just tell you (quickly) how their church operated. Every member was an evangelist. They all proclaimed God's Word to those around them. They met on the first day of the week to worship the Lord. It went like this:

                There would be an evangelistic message (sermon), where everyone (Believers, non-believers, etc) was invited to listen. After that, the non-believers exited, and the believers had a worship service. They would sing hymns of praise and have prayer. After the worship, those baptized believers who had not completed their education would be asked to leave, and the Catechized (formally educated) believers would partake in the Lords supper. [Catechesis was a formal education program in the church, lasting several years, where the baptized (adult) believers would be taught the essentials of the faith].

                Why do we think this is such a bad idea? Why are we so averse to educating believers? The education believers received during their Catechesis would be equivalent to an undergraduate degree in theology/Bible studies. And now that’s to be regarded as 'above and beyond'? Rubbish.

                The United States Marine Corps holds to a standard. That standard is "Every Marine a Rifleman". Other branches of service do not require every member to be proficient in the use of a firearm. The Marine Corps does. Why? Because it is the most basic skill that is required to defend the country in warfare.  Therefore; I propose the following: "Every Christian a Theologian" How are we to defend our faith without it, how can we evangelize with a grade-school understanding? We can't.

Addendum:

                This is not to say that education is the only thing we should focus ourselves on. There are may wonderful things the church has done, both inside and outside its walls. I only stand in opposition to the notion that formal Christian education is somehow an antiquated, useless thing and our time would be better spent in social gatherings and chats about our feelings. While I don’t reject the merit of such things, they are in fact very beneficial, they DO NOT serve as replacement for the education of the church as a whole.

               

 

 

Trustworthy

A few years ago, I got involved with this certain project at work. We were in the process of designing a very large machine, the largest of its kind in the world, in fact. For those that care (probably none of you), it was a 2-crank hot mill crop shear. The machine was going to weigh almost a million pounds, not counting all the extra bits that went along with it. To build something that big, you need some special tools. That was where I came in.

I was tasked with designing a lifting beam (for the layman, a picker-upper thing), for a very large part of the machine, weighing 375,000 pounds (roughly 110 mid-sized cars). It was a fairly simple task, design wise. I was absolutely sure that my design was good, and it was checked by other engineer, which is SOP. I was in the shop the day they put it to the test.

While going through the design, it was always in the back of my mind that the lives of several men would depend on me being correct. That thought jumped to the front of my mind as they lifted the huge assembly off the ground, and overhead to be inserted into the shear. I watched as the men worked around it, completely trusting that the beam would hold, never questioning that it could fail. My heart raced as I watched everything unfold from a distance.

That day changed me. Having someone's life in your hands, and them not even being aware of it, is an incredibly humbling experience.  Those men working on that machine put their complete trust in a flawed, fallible man. I make mistakes, it happens every day. And by God's grace I didn’t make a mistake that day. They stood under that weight with no second thoughts, it was their job and they did it.

Why is it so hard for us to trust God, who never makes mistakes?

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.

Isaiah 12:2 ESV

 

Discernment

I have had a very difficult time the past year, trying to figure out what God would have for my life. Not in the sense of the direction that my personal life would take; instead, how He would call me to be His servant. I have struggled with my own pride, my own feelings about what should be done. I have prayed, and prayed again. I heard nothing, silence. All I knew is that I had to do something.

This is a terrible position to be in. I had everyone around advising me differently, and I had no idea what I should do. Then, yesterday, I realized something. God never said, "Wait until I give you the all-clear", and I was never told to be still. He has given me, through His spirit, the "mind of Christ", not that I should know the thoughts of God, but that I would be able to do His will. All I am called to be is obedient to His commands. Anything beyond that, and I am to use the gifts he has given me to do His work in this world.

When we truly know someone, we are able to discern their desires for us without them speaking to us. In the last 10 years, I have gotten to know my wife pretty well. I know what is expected of me, and she knows what's expected of her. I may get it wrong sometimes, but for the most part, I know her. I know at what point she thinks the trash needs taken out, or the floor swept, or whatever.

In the same way, we are to use the Spirit that dwells in us to guide us. We shouldn’t expect direct instruction, or clear, definite guidance. 

All I can do is be obedient to Him.

 

For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:16 ESV

 

 

Organization

I'm not the most organized person, I can admit that. I'm not a disorganized person either. I feel like I fall in a weird, grey area that isn't very well defined. Mostly, I'm a 'deal with it later'-person. I like to keep my desk organized, I like things having a certain place. I like having labeled, tabbed folders. I like organizational widgets. What I don’t like to do is take the time to use them. Because I am so delinquent with keeping up with my organization, once a week or so I just end up taking 15 minutes and clearing/organizing everything.

 

I have to do this or I can't find what's important. What I'm working on gets lost in the mess of old scrap paper and things that should have gone in the shredder long ago. Stuff that just gets in my way, slows me down, distracts me. I have to clean it all up, get rid of what slows me down, or I'll never be productive.

 

 

As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.  As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.

Matthew 13:22-23 ESV

Junk Food

For the past few months, I have been making an attempt to change some bad habits. I have been eating healthier, and exercising a few mornings a week before work. I hate sweating first thing in the morning, it is absolutly terrible. I cannot imagine an activity I despise more than that. But I do feel better on the days that I work out. The eating healthy has been much easier. I was never much into lots of meat anyway, so limiting myself to one meat per day isn't that difficult. I love vegetables too, so that’s easy as well. My problem has always been that perfectly cooked, fresh vegetables aren't in a bag in the cupboard. That’s where the potato chips live, and they are easier to get to than the things that are much better for me.

 

This morning I could have made myself a good breakfast, I certainly had time. Or even a bagel or something, that would have been good too. But I didn’t. I just went to work.

 

I poured a cup of coffee. Out of the corner of my eye I see a orange and white box. I turn. "Oooh, donuts". I grab a crème-filled one. I gently walk it back to my desk. I sit down and think, "I probably shouldn't eat this, not because its soooo bad, but because there's nothing good in it." I reach in my drawer a pull out my multivitamin bottle. I take one every day, but today the irony was thicker than usual.

 

We consistently seek out the cheapest, easiest things to feed ourselves with, and in doing so, we are left unfulfilled. We have thousands of pages of the bread of God's Word at our fingertips and we continually choose the Tasty-cakes and donuts. R.C. Sproul said "Our culture is embedded in proud mediocrity; junk art, junk music, junk thinking, and we've accommodated it with junk church"

 

 

Not at Home

I had the pleasure/displeasure of a work trip to Hamilton, Ontario earlier this week. I really don’t mind traveling, in fact I enjoy it. What I don’t like is traveling to Canada, in January. I really wish Puerto Rico had a booming steel industry.

Being in another country is strange, especially when it's one as similar to my own.  There is this continual feeling that you are not at home. Sometimes you barely notice that you're not in the US anymore, somehow it's just not the same. Simple things that remind you that you're not at home. The street signs are a different color, and in a different font. The road lines are painted slightly different, and of course the prolific use of metric (which confused me at first, when I turned on the weather channel in the hotel, and they informed me the high temperature for tomorrow was -2°) It's not anything that I wouldn’t get used to, but you're constantly reminded that home is several hundred miles away, and the only thing that can get you back is the little blue book in your pocket with the gold embossed eagle.

But I had a job to do, responsibility to fulfill. And although I wanted to pick up and head home when I was tired, I couldn't, because I knew I had to stay until my job was done. I could have told the customer, "I'm sorry, I can't stay a minute longer", and they would have smiled, shook my hand, and let me leave. But I still wouldn’t have fulfilled what was asked of me. I needed to stay until the job was done, and I wasn’t sure how long that would take.

Eventually I finished my work and drove home. That’s the end to my story, but not really, because by now I hope you have realized that I'm not talking about working at a steel plant in Ontario.

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.

2 Corinthians 5:1 ESV

 

 

Missing You

I was getting ready to put my daughter to sleep last night, just like I always do. Hallway lights on, room lights off. Crib blanket laid out nicely so when I lay her down its within easy reach. Rocking chair in the right position. Noise-machine on 'Waterfall'. Everything was ready. As I was walking out of the room, I noticed something. It was the blanket I used 11 months ago, in the hospital, the night she was born. Jackie bought it when she found out she was having a girl, and we brought it to the hospital with us. It is a pink cotton blanket with little elephants vacationing in Paris on one side, very girly without being 'baby' (Jackie and I never liked babyish things, you know, baby Mickey Mouse, Whinnie-the-Pooh, etc).

I stopped and picked it up. I held it and remembered what it was like to hold my daughter as a newborn, and how in just a few minutes I would be putting the same little girl to sleep. I missed her so tiny, so delicate, so …new. But I realized I also missed her right then, even though she was only downstairs. It wasn’t that I missed her because she wasn’t around, I missed her because I knew, soon, that she would be different, and I would be missing that little girl crawling around downstairs.

I've had more than a few people ask me if we are going to have more children. I don’t know. I don’t know how anyone can truly answer that question. They always ask 'Well, don’t you miss having a tiny little baby?' Of course I do, but not because it’s a tiny baby, I miss those times with my daughter. If I had another, I would end up missing those times just the same.

 

Yield

No matter who you are or what you do, we always end up experiencing the world around us by relating it to things we know. I'm no different. The only problem is that the things I know are incredibly boring to most people. But you're going to hear about it now, anyway. If you're bored, just keep reading, I promise, you wont die. You might even learn something. I will have to preface this with a long, scienc-y introduction. Every material has what is known as its Modulus of Elasticity (or Young's Modulus). It describes how the material deforms when it is subjected to some sort of stress. This deformation is known as elastic deformation because the material isn't changed at all. Imagine pulling on a rubber band. You can stretch the rubber band out, and it changes shape, put when you let go, it goes right back to its original shape. Every material reacts differently (obviously). Even strong materials deform some, for example , if I were to stand on a 1" block of steel, that block would… 1"x1" = 1 in^2 180 lbf / 1 in^2 = 180 psi 180 psi / 30x10^6 psi [modulus of steel] = .000006" …get .00006" shorter. (That's about 100 times smaller than a human hair.) But when I stepped off, it would go right back to being 1" tall. Here's where it gets fun. If I ate a bunch of pizza and ice cream, and gained about 40,000 pounds, then stepped on that block again, it wouldn’t go back. All that weight was just more than that little block could take, and my fat self squished it. Permanently. That point, where it just can't take anymore, is known as its yield point. As much as we like to deny it, we work in the same way. We want to allow God to work in us, to mold us and shape us, but when the pressure is off, we bounce right back to where we were before. It hurts to have all that pressure on us, so we only allow God to push a little bit, so we don’t really have to change. But, if you want real change, you have to allow yourself to be pushed past your yield, to allow yourself to be shaped, into something different than you were before. 8 But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8 English Standard Version (ESV) Note: You should be grateful this ended here; I could have extended the metaphor much, much further. For a more detailed description, ask me or see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yield_(engineering) (Wiki is available 24 hours a day, I am not.)

Information "Under"-load

I love my job, I really do. I love the problem solving, I love learning something new every day. I love being surrounded by people who all have their own unique specialty, and they are always willing to teach you something. Very rarely do I leave in the evening and say, "I really don’t like doing this.", but (you knew that 'but' was coming), it does have its annoyances.

One of them is having to try and do something without having all the information you need. I understand that sometimes it's just not available, the information doesn’t exist, that doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is when I know someone, somewhere in the world, has the information I need, and I can't find. Here is what I should do when that happens:

1) Call someone who knows more than me.

2) Ask questions.

3) Use all my resources to hunt down the information

4) Use the information to make an intelligent decision.

Here's what I actually do.

1) Think.

2) Think more.

3) Wallow in misery.

4) Guess.

5) Pretend I have the answer

6) Hope I was right / No one finds out

I think we all do this, at some level, in our own lives. We know that we don’t have the answers, but we don’t search out the right answer, or more information so we can make a good decision. Sometimes the reason is pride, sometimes it is ignorance, or maybe selfishness, but whatever the reason, we seem to continually ignore the information that is so readily available to us, and instead we just pretend we know best.

We think that God's Word is unreachable, unknowable, confusing, or just plain difficult. Guess what, it is. It’s the hardest thing I have ever done to try and understand and follow it. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try, that doesn’t mean I should just throw my hands in the air and say "I don’t know, so I'll do what I want!"

What we should do is sit down, take the time, and learn something. Let's go back to my first list.

1) Call someone who knows more than me.

If I need to know something, the first source I should consult is the Bible. It’s a 3 inch thick book without a good index, I know. But what you need is in there, trust me.

If I can't find it myself, there are a lots of people I can talk to that know much more than I do. I ask them what they think.

2) Ask questions.

If you're not sure about something, ask, it's just that easy.

3) Use all my resources to hunt down the information

There is almost certainly someone who has had your question before, and they probably found an answer, find them, ask them. They may have even written a book, read it.

4) Use the information to make an intelligent decision.

I should add, use all the information. Never nit-pick data, it never works out good. If you find something you don’t like, figure out why you don’t like it. Never ignore it.

Deuteronomy 4:29

English Standard Version (ESV)

29 But from there you will seek the LORD your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Snow on the Brain

Snow is weird stuff.

It can either be the most aggravating substance on the planet, when you have to scrape 8 inches of the stuff off your car at 10:45 pm in 15° weather after a long (and I mean very long) day of classes, ask me how I know.

Or, it can be the most wonderful, beautiful thing. Have you ever noticed how quiet it is when there is snow on the ground? Its eerily quiet, like in a movie, when it gets all quiet so you know the main character is deep in thought, that kind of quiet. The world still goes on as usual, but in a muffeled, hushed tone that says, "Shhhh, its snowing!"

Its times like this I really need to learn how to appreciate. I so often find my mind thinking about the future, usually whats for dinner. I think about what needs done at home tonite, what I want to do this weekend, what I need to get next time I'm at Walmart. What I really need is some snow on the brain, to let all of that exist, but let it fade into background noise.

10 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, 11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

Isaiah 55:10-11

English Standard Version (ESV)

"Call me Ishmael"

So, I thought I would give this a try. Being 5 years late to the party seems to be my M.O. anyway. I mean, I didn’t start watching House until 2008, and just found out about Arrested Development last year, so I guess 2012 should be the year for blogging, right?

I'm still not sure why I'm doing this; I'd like to think I'm being altruistic, but in reality I probably need someplace to vent, and what better place than the internet for that, right? This may be more of an online diary (that no one reads), than some useful informational blog, but that's ok.

Anyway, the title. I suppose the first post would be a good place to explain it. Instead of being original, its part of a song I like. From a band I like. It goes something like this.

Oh Lord, I want to lay down

So that You'll pick me up

I've been defined by being found

By Your perfect love

And so I'll pick up my cross

And follow hard after You

Your grace is more than enough

Please, help me get through

And teach me to die

That You might live and reign inside

This heart of mine is Yours to keep

And Yours to define

Oh Lord, I accept this gift

Of grace you offer me

Jesus, I'll keep my eyes on You

Please lead me

And teach me to die

That You might live and reign inside

This heart of mine is Yours to keep

And Yours to define

I don’t needs signs, only You

I don’t need wonders, only You

I don’t need miracles, only You

I don’t need anything but You

And teach me to die

That You might live and reign inside

This heart of mine is Yours to keep

And Yours to define

Define

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